Sexual dysfunction in men and male sexual roles
Sex was meant as a normal activity to be enjoyed according to the mental, physical and emotional need of the human being. However, the sexual roles of men have made sex an immense burden for men. The main bane of their existence. They cannot sit back and enjoy their sexual capacity. It is a power thing for them. They must use it to get as much power from the society as they can. They are going to need this power to survive in this cruel "race for manhood".
The problem with this social interference is not only that men have to suppress their true sexual instincts, kill their true power to give and take sexual love, but there is also another aspect of their predicament. They try their best to make themselves into sex machines that the society expects them to be. But they are not sex machines. All this interference with mental, emotional and physical aspect of sex causes a number of sexual problems in men. What the west now refers to as "sexual dysfunction".
The western science recognises that only a small percentage of cases of "sexual dysfunction" have a physical aspect to their problem. Most of these problems have socio-psychological reasons. However, as vain as western system of treatment is, they only try to address the outer symptoms, not the real problem. Needless to say, they have failed to come up with any real "cure" for these problems.
And many of these so-called "sexual dysfunctions" are not problems at all. They have been made to seem like problems because of the gender and sexual roles. That does not prevent the western science to attempt to cure these "cases".
Let's take some examples to understand this better.
Pre-mature ejaculation:
"Tum me wo josh nahin hai!"
Premature ejaculation is one of the major problems in India and other societies which place a lot of responsibility on the 'man' for the satisfaction of (esp.) female partner. Almost every second man suffers from this. Many men would go to great lengths to find a cure for this, would spend thousands of Rupees. Since no "mainstream" cure for premature ejaculation is available (as in the case of baldness) they go to various "quacks" and "nim hakims" who fool them and fleece them.
Premature ejaculation makes men feel very ashamed of themselves. And makes them feel less of a man. Sexually aggressive women are too aware of this social predicament of men and can break a man's spirit and all his pretences of social power.
However, nature never made man and woman to come together. Man is programmed to come earlier, much earlier than woman. Who takes longer to achieve an orgasm (if she gets one!). It is an absolutely social requirement placed on men by an anti-man set up. It is almost unnatural to expecct them to come together, or to expect women to come earlier than men.
Perhaps, nature deliberately left that gap, so that women can approach other women for a complete sense of sexual satisfaction (as happens in some animal species -- e.g. apes). Perhaps men and women are made only for procreation and nothing more.
But those questions aside, men and women can still enjoy sex if they did not place such "unnatural" expectations on themselves. But there are several other social myths that make this task complicated. One of them is of course the fact that its the male responsibility (actually, a compulsory proof of his manhood) that he has to satisfy the woman. The truth is that each person's satisfaction is his or her own business. No one can satisfy the another. Because satisfaction is in one's own mind. The other can only assist as far as his or her natural potentials allow.
Another myth is that a woman is satisfied when the man ejaculates. This means that once the man ejaculates he has no chance to satisfy his woman. Which is not true.
Let's study this satisfaction business in detail. There are two things required for sexual satisfaction to happen, and it applies to both men and women, and sex with both male and female partners.
..... to be contd later
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